etc

Before you know, it's much too late!
I want to run back to those days of watching Dexter's laboratory all day, reading comic books and goofing around in the summer heat!with your grandparents freaked out at your dangerous bicycle riding techniques and styles and neighbor aunties scowling at the ball I hit straight for a "six" but broke something.... there was a thing to it.
i miss all that. my people getting annoyed at my "unhealthy" love for cartoon network and comic books, my sister bothered about my grammatical errors and how I refused to wear anything feminine! How all that annoyed me. and how I wish days today were as easy.
big worries were if my friend had completed the "tazo" collection, or if I missed out a few minutes of "small wonder" or is it already 7, because I can hear my mother threatening to take some dangerous measures if I don't return for home ASAP!
Things are not meant to be simple always. These were so complex then. Maybe complex things now will be dealt with and I can rest in peace.

crying out

i seriously don't know what's wrong with me.
i always though very confidently that i can't go mad.
but i guess it's finally happening.
the fact that i know that i'm going mad, doesn't defy the fact that i seriously AM going mad.
i have lost it all.

state of emergency

have you ever tried google-ing some painless ways of committing suicide? i hope not. but if u do, you'll see some weird pages. there will be pages, where some failed suicide attempters will ask you to change your mind. there'll be people asking you to seek the "light of God", some asking you to think about the people you are leaving behind(really now! why would i die if there was something that really needed my presence) and still more people who will try to counsel you for a better state of mind. and you think..now even Google doesn't help! this place is not worth living now.
Well i exaggerated (I am suicidal, i can rattle off whatever.). I did find some relevant pages too. But none of them were cool for me. Seriously, I don't need some random idea of a nincompoop. i don't have a gun. i don't want neither fire nor water to end me like that. Jumping off a cliff is not a 100% guaranteed killer. I don't qualify for euthanasia (though I'm personally convinced that I do), cutting the wrist,popping pills...so stupid. i wanted something different.
i am looking for ideas. this is for a project report. so please don't think otherwise.